Faith

I could inundate you with a million pics from the last time I blogged

(but I won't).

This post is definitely going to be more for my own journaling purposes, but for those of you that wanted an updated pic of my kids feel free to skip all the ramblings and just sit back and admire my beauties! Anyway...here you go.

I decided to title this post simply "faith" because apparently that is what God is trying to help me learn. This last couple months have been life changing for me. I've had some big decisions to make....and a few that were made for me, and I feel like my life is in a completely different place right now than it was just a few months ago.

First, my job.

I have been struggling for a while now trying to figure out the work/life balance. I know there are many people out there that make it look easy, I was and am not one of them. Things kept popping in my mind that made me really feel like I needed to be home with my family more. I realized my wonderful babysitters saw my kids for more awake hours than I did and although I love them dearly, that bothered me.

I also realized that if there should be some sort of natural disaster the likelihood of me being with my kids was nil, and I hated the idea of someone else having to take care of the most important things to me in such a scary time.

Than I kept having a quote come into my head...

It's by Pres. Kimball (I believe) and it says "When you put God first, all other things fall into place, or fall out of your life completely".

So, I started to realize that in my job I was certainly putting my job first, my family second, and sadly God was coming in a close third.

So, I thought hard about it. Prayed about it. Ignored the answer I was getting for as long as I could. And than decided to step down. I was tired of the stress, the extra hours, and the bad mood and attitude that the stress was making me bring home to my family.

Now, I'm just a normal-payed-by-the-hour employee that has to ask permission to go on break....and I've never enjoyed my job more! I haven't been this happy at work in a really long time. Granted the significant pay decrease makes me want to vomit whenever I think about it, I have FAITH that Heavenly Father will help it all fall into place.

Second....

Cody and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary in Sept. Cody got me flowers, and I got him a positive pregnancy test. Yep, unplanned! I told him on the phone that I had gotten him something but I wasn't sure he would like it or not, and that it was unreturnable, so if he didn't like it I really needed him to pretend he did. This played a large role in me making the decision to step down at work. I figured since it was unplanned, that God clearly had a different plan in place for us.

Third.....

Just when I had finally talked myself into being excited about having another baby, I went to the doctor for my first ultrasound. Everything looked normal, other than there was no heartbeat for the baby. I know that most women have at least one miscarriage in their life. And I think you always kind of prepare for that in the back of your head. But, truth be told it absolutely broke my heart. But again, I have FAITH that Heavenly Father has a plan for us, and this was something that we were meant to go through.


So, needless to say....my life has changed significantly in the last few months. I've gone through some changes that have strengthened my testimony. I know a few things for sure. I would rather be poor, and live in the gutter, and be with my family....HAPPY, than to have more than enough money, never see my family and be miserable. I know that I wish I could see the whole "picture" of my life so I could better understand some of these trials that Heavenly Father makes us go through. But I also know that I need to just trust Him!

Anyway,
I know this was a lot of rambling to some of you. Again, this was more for my own journaling purposes. Everything else has been great! Simon is in kindergarten and is loving it! Lucy is about to start nursery and I'm loving that! We had a great Halloween, and we are looking forward to a great Holiday Season (with a lot less stress!!!!).